Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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