So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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