R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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