how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
