so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She even gives head with a lisp.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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