I should be sponsored by Trojan
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
