sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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