we're blogging at a bar
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
