Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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