yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
