butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
