that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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