Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
