Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
