So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
