What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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