All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
