spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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