I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
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