Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i love accidental penises.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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