i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
