Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
