sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
operation have a gay friend backfired
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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