yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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