First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
