I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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