And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
