If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
