Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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