watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
