Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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