I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
