Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
