do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
