She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
