the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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