How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
