Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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