that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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