Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
