You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize