He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
