Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
