awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
