i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
