The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
