Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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