Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
