we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
