I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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